Most of us who consider ourselves “adults” remember a time when every aspect of our daily lives revolved around our family. Whether you are a single child, or have five brothers and sisters, life’s routine was determined by your parent(s). Family time was important, and in numerous cases, mandatory. Everyone ate dinner together, summarized the events of their day, and discussed what was learned in school. Of course, television was watched, but even that was done as a family. This was mainly due to the parents’ involvement in raising, as well as taking part in their children’s lives. Unfortunately, this simple and extremely important practice has become less and less utilized. Cellular phones, video games, and the internet have replaced game nights, sports events, and family outings. Present day parents, for the most part, have forgotten what “raising” a child is supposed to consist of, replacing the essential skills with technology. This paper is not only to persuade, but to implore parents to realize that proper childhood development relies on personal and loving parenting, rather than shoving an electronic device in a child’s face and going about their daily lives.
How many times have you been in a restaurant and looked over at the table next to yours, only to find the parents eating while their children play video games on their phones? Instead of parents interacting and holding the interest of their children, they are keeping them “busy” with electronics. This is not only sad, but an irresponsible attempt at parenting. Parents should spend as much time interacting with their children as possible. While electronics can be a good form of entertainment, and in some cases even educational, they are not replacements for the parents’ time. The focus of parents seems to have shifted from their children’s needs to their own, and this is an injustice that must not continue.
Cellular phones, television, video games, and the internet have become the main forms of entertainment parents provide for their children. Children between the ages of eight and eighteen spend an average of seven and a half hours a day using computers, televisions, and videogames (Kalb, 2010). If you subtract the amount of time spent at school and extracurricular activities, if they are even involved in them, from the twenty-four hour day you are not left with much time for family interaction. The point is, if they are spending nearly eight hours a day using electronics, how can there possibly be time left for actual parental/child connection? On top of that, what effects are these devices having on our children?
A child’s development relies on more than what is on television, or in the hottest video game. In fact, using technology’s latest electronic devices as a replacement leads to problems in a child’s development. Constant use of television, video games, and certain computer applications can infantilize the brain, and could be the cause of a steep rise in attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder (Mackey, 2009). Obviously, no parent would ever wish a behavioral disorder like this on their own children; but if a change in how they raise their children is not made, it is a possibility that may take place. The unfortunate aspect of it all is the idea that using electronics to keep children busy is, in a way, a form of avoidance. Less stimulation to the cognitive development of children could be an effect of neglect, in which the parents’ needs come before those of the children’s (Abbott & Langston, 2006). Physical effects on their bodies may also be caused by excessive use of today’s technological devices.
It is no secret that the United States of America are one of the “fattest” countries in the world. Obesity is the most widespread form of nutritional disease, and inflicts more than fifteen percent of America’s adolescents (Burniat, Lissau, & Cole, 2002). This number is only going to rise as more and more parents allow, as well as promote excessive use of television, internet, and video games. As was stated before, children spend close to eight hours a day using these devices. With the exception of newly manufactured “exercise” video games, none require any sort of physical effort for participation. Unfortunately, even the introduction of these exercise games is not enough to prevent obesity in our children. According to the American Council on Exercise, fitness simulation games like “Wii Fit” burn far less calories than their traditional exercise counterparts (Lang, 2009). This is just another reason why parents need to decrease their children’s use of electronics. The solution, quite simply put, is to spend time with them in energy expending activities. Parents should involve physical activities, such as sports and outdoor games, in the daily routines of their children. Doing this will not only decrease the chances of obesity, but will help build a stronger family environment. The most important thing for parents to realize, however, is that these health issues should not be the only reason for cutting back on their children’s use of electronics.
Parents’ reason for replacing electronics with more family interaction should be for the simple reason of wanting to raise their children in a loving, caring, and family oriented environment. In order for this to happen, they have to build on connections with their kids, and find ways to make the excessive electronics usage obsolete. The first step in this process is to remember that their children’s needs come before their own. This means that interaction with your children is more important than catching Oprah’s next big give away episode. Taking the time to give your attention to your children, instead of handing them your iphone, will do wonders in the relationships you will develop with them. The answer is in taking the time to play with your children. This does not necessarily mean you have to sit down and have “tea time” everyday, but it is an essential part of establishing a strong bond with them. Parents ought to remember what it was like to be that age again, and realize how necessary it is to promote playful interaction between them and their children. Playful parenting is not just about having fun with each other, but a way of helping them complete the circle of reconnection while drawing them out of isolation (Cohen, 2001).
Everyone has either seen or heard of a child creating an imaginary friend, whether it is in their personal life or in a movie. This is usually due to them being alone, anti-social, and isolated from the basic need of human interaction. The main point is not to look for your child to “create” a friend, but to make sure that you spend the time with them that is necessary. Isolation is the same as separation. Neither of these words should ever be brought up when discussing the relationships between parents and their children. It is our purpose on this planet to birth children, as well as continue the growth of our race. Unlike other species, however, we have the innate ability to love and care for our children, watching them develop into adults themselves. Parents should not look at this like another job, but a blessing, for that is what it truly is. The time has come to stop running from what is our main purpose on this earth, and take responsibility for the children we bring into it.
Unfortunately, technology and its devices are not the only replacements parents have found to do the job they are meant to. In many cases these days, parents expect the teachers in schools to “raise” their children. This is very common in the private school sector. Parents who are wealthy, and choose to place their children in private schools, expect too much from the teachers. This is mainly due to the fact that they are “paying” for their children’s education and discipline. Some parents these days feel that they are no able to raise their children adequately, especially parents of those who have social and behavioral issues (Kaplan, 2009). The point is parents in this day and age are so busy adhering to their own needs that they have no idea how they are supposed to meet those of their children. Jobs, spouses, hobbies, and addictions come before the kids. There is a definite sense of disconnect among families in today’s society, and every single parent needs to confront, and change that. It is the parents’ responsibility to raise their children while instilling morality, as well as what is expected of a mature adult in this ever changing world. The teachers are only there to help “move the boat up-river.” Once the realization is made that parents are to put their kids’ best interests before their own, be the main contributors to their development, and put the responsibility of “raisers” on their shoulders, the future will look much brighter for the children.
This is not only an attempt to persuade, but one to implore current and future parents to finally step into the most important role of their lives whole heartedly. We can no longer promote, or allow the use of television, internet, cellular phones, and video games to take the place of us. These devices not only effect our children’s behavioral development, but their physical one as well. The future of our species relies on how much effort parents put into their relationships with their children. As technology advances, we lose more and more contact with each other on a personal level. We have already seen this grow more prominent among us adults; therefore, we must not allow it to happen with our own children. What we raise them to believe is proper and socially acceptable, is what they will teach to children of their own one day. The time has come to put down the phones, take the batteries out of the controllers, and shut off the television and computer monitors. All it takes is a family activity day out with the kids, without all the “blessings” of technology weighing us down. So, take this message to heart, and consider what is most important for you and your children. After all, it is not only about what is good for us, but what the best is for our children.
Abbott, L., & Langston, A. (2006). Parents Matter. McGraw-Hill Education. Retrieved fromhttp://site.ebrary.com/lib/ashford/docDetail.action?docID=10161356&p00=parenting
Burniat, W., Lissau, I., & Cole, T.J. (2002). Child and Adolescent Obesity: Causes and Consequences, Prevention and Management. Cambridge University Press. Retrieved from http://site.ebrary.com/lib/ashford/docDetail.action?docID=10069992&p00=child%20obesity
Cohen, L.J. (2001). Playful Parenting: A Bold New Way to Nurture Close Connection, Solve Behavior Problems and Encourage Children’s Confidence. Ballantine Publishing Group. Retrieved from http://site.ebrary.com/lib/ashford/docDetail.action?docID=10005095&p00=parenting
Kalb, C. (2010, March 14). Culture of Corpulence. Newsweek. Retrieved from http://www.newsweek.com/2010/03/13/culture-of-corpulence.html
Kaplan, N. (2009). My Child’s Teacher: What Can I Reasonably Expect? Education Pathways, Issue 9. Retrieved from http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:xnCSjBPEPycJ:www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/429641/jewish/My-Childs-Teacher-What-Can-I-Expect.htm+do+parents+expect+too+much+from+teachers&cd=9&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&source=www.google.com
Lang, D.J. (2009, December 11). Fitness Video Games Are Reshaping Medium. The Associated Press. Retrieved from http://msnbc.msn.com/id/34381072/ns/technology_and_science-games/
Mackey, R. (2009, February 24). Is Social Networking Killing You?. The New York Times. Retrieved from http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/02/24/is-social-networking-killing-you/
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